Harsh truth time. My project: Messages of Love has been at a small stand still because I don't know how to convert a bunch of digital images into a slideshow with music. I know its done all the time. I know its simple. I just don't know how. I have vaguely assumed my husband knows how. And I mention my desire to him from time to time: "Hey, I'd like to learn how to do this thing." And he is always amenable. But somehow no one had ever gently taken my hand, sat me down, and said, "First, begin here..."

I think I've been waiting for someone to gently take my hand and begin teaching me about digital slide show technology. But that kept not happening. Probably because making the statement of intention to learn, even to an amenable husband, is not the same thing as sitting down to actually wrestle with the available information. Finally, yesterday, I googled "how to." I stumbled on a photography forum discussing the best software for these kinds of slide shows. So I asked my husband what he thought about buying specific software. Which caused him to say, "Oh sure, check your computer, you probably already have it."

And there it sits, Windows Movie Maker. I mean, it couldn't be labeled any clearer. Its RIGHT THERE. Been there the whole time. Just seeing it gave me a feeling of glee. Which quickly caved into enormous frustration because, of course, I don't understand how to use this software.

I am sorry to admit I experienced some rather harsh feelings toward my husband all through this epiphany and crashing frustration. I loaded imagines easily. Tried to add music and it wouldn't work. But my husband understood the problem and had the power to solve it. The music was in the wrong format---it was never going to work. There was no explanation as to why. But somehow he knew. He fixed it for me, of course. He is always willing to help. I only had to ask.

Why does help frustrate me nearly as much as being thwarted by my own stupidity? Second harsh truth: learning can be difficult, knowledge is occasionally obscure, and sometimes help is necessary. Even for things that seem like they should be easy.

What shall I infer about unschooling? Am I helping the children enough? I've wanted to understand the creation of digital slideshows for, oh, about six years. Left up to my own devices, it took me SIX YEARS to figure out something as simple as slideshows. And I didn't figure it out so much as ask the question that caused someone to stop what they were doing and show me what I needed to know. True, then I spent a few hours yesterday figuring out plenty on my own. Nevertheless, as an unschooling parent, I must admit all this took me way too long.

On the other hand, unschooling is learning how to learn, about which I've never claimed to be an expert. Its good to be humbled. I'm reminded about the importance of  just finding the right questions to ask. As I'm forced to stare into the pouty delayed face of my own frustration sitting quietly in my own little mind-desk waiting for some teacher-on-high to pour all knowledge into me.

Dear sweet darling awesome husband, I'm sorry. Thank you for your help.