Transitions are difficult and the transition from stay at home mother to empty nester is famously difficult. I tend to run at transitions full force. As Scott B put it, "There is a way of dancing so fast that you don't notice other people watching or anything else but your own dance." Taking the cowgirl job was a way of running ahead so I didn't have to plod quietly and slowly through these last few years of being home with kids. Basically, a cowardly dash past rather than through the pain and fear of change. The job was also wonderful and helpful on several levels. I'm not minimizing that. Just noticing this other truth.
Yesterday I made chocolate snaps from a modified version of R's recipe. Then we filled homemade henna-style cones with royal icing and decorated them. The results were less subtle than we would have hoped. We learned to aim for thinner icing next time. But the project was delicious and fun. And the cookie tin, I notice, is nearly empty this morning.
Today we woke to snow. I'm rising dough for English Muffins and contemplating a long walk with kids and a camera. None of these things: cookies, muffins, snowy walks, would be happening if I'd been up since 4 working outside. Monetary values aside and disregarding the fact that neither kid specifically NEEDS me, I can say undoubtedly that more time equals more time together and more memories. And this time with kids home is still fleeting---possibly faster now, and priceless. Rushing past this would be a mistake.
I never could have predicted anything that's happened since we had kids. Not a move to Texas, not homeschooling, not cows nor farm life. I'm happily wondering what will happen next?
Mmmmuwah!!!!
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