Speaking of My Dearest True Love, apparently something happened on the way to work:

A true and cautionary tale, written while carpooling this a.m.
Truck Stop Donuts: A Short Play in One Act.

[Curtain up. It is early morning at the Petromart Truck Stop -- a miniature mall containing a buffet restaurant, a convenience store, an auto parts store, a Dunkin' Donuts shop, and a pair of wooden doors labeled Trucker's Only and advertising hot showers. A man enters the mini mall. In the breezeway, he passes a Lucky Toy Crane Game machine playing ethereal music. The window of the game is packed chest-high with emotive blue unicorns. The startled man proceeds to the Dunkin' Donuts shop and approaches four staff standing behind the counter]

Man: Hi. I'd like a small coffee please with room for cream.
Cashier 1: Ok [uses register], that'll be one seventeen. [Pauses, then laughs] I'm sorry, but can you remind me what kind of coffee that was again?
Man: [laughs] Sure, just a small coffee.
C1: Oh, right. But what flavor?
Me: Oh, I see: none. No flavors, just plain coffee, but with some room for cream.
C1: Whipped cream?
Man: No, just room for regular cream.
C1: What?
Man: When you pour the coffee, please just leave some room in the cup so that I can add some cream.
C1: Oh, ok. How many creams?
Man: Two.
C1: [Relays order to cashier 2 next to her.] He wants a small coffee.
C2: What kind?
C1: Small.
C2: No flavors?
C1: None.
C2: Just... black coffee?
C1: I guess so.
C2: [Under breath] Eww. Okaaay... [Fills cup to rim]
C1: Thank you!
[Curtain]