What are my fears about the choices my children face, beyond inebriated car accidents, addictions, and entanglement with abusive partners? Its always been clarifying, in this house, to define the worst fear and move up from there in terms of homeschooling goals. What are you afraid of and why?

My kids won't learn math. Well, no one does unless they want to, including schooled kids. Try asking, where will my kids need math? Because that math is simple to apprehend. All other math can be understood as either esoteric art form, a sorting criteria for universities, or the language of the physical world. Understanding exactly where you are aiming and why simplifies the path to the goal. Despite what (and how) we were taught in school, math is neither all that difficult nor time consuming to learn, IF its introduced at the appropriate age----in the teen years for everything over money and time, in any formal way. Unless there is a specific need, say, for construction or programming. Unschooling experience suggests there will always be needs. Needs are excellent teachers.

My kids won't read well. 99% unlikely in our culture if you homeschool---even if you do not teach. Unless your kid needs glasses or has other physical eye issues.  (Ugh, parenting fail over here!)

My kids won't be intelligent. Absurd notion. Not even worth discussing. They were born intelligent. Their minds are growing whether you like it or not. Intelligence is generally only suspended by poor nutrition and/or abuse.

My kids will turn out lazy, spoiled, or pernicious.  Here it is, the biggest most unspoken fear for homeschooled kids in our society. I'm not sure what to say about this except that I've embodied all three and I was schooled relentlessly. The seven deadly sins were listed thousands of years ago, for a reason. It has been officially noted that humans are broken. Far as I can tell, we must put some effort into rising above ourselves. This is a parenting issue, not a homeschooling issue. Try to be an excellent example. Give your toddlers a firm and consistent understanding of basic manners and shield them from unworthy authority.

I was sitting on the couch drinking coffee when my son walked downstairs this morning and paused to glance out the window in our front door. The early light hit his beautiful face as he was quietly mouthing words to a song. I wished him good morning and asked what he was singing. Then I looked up the song. The video I happened upon for this song is a stunning work of art that portrays what happens to a large majority of white kids who go to college or find jobs after high school and give themselves over to their very first genuine encounter with freedom. Approximately 10 years is promptly wasted in a cycle of drinking, looking for love, and feeling like shit while pretending to feel okay. I've been there. I've lived it. I watched most of my friends live it. I can say something true about this cycle of constant partying: With exceedingly few exceptions, you can not find love nor happiness in this cycle--despite marketing illusions to the contrary.

The only people I know who stumbled early out of the cycle of partying into a happy loving life were lucky enough to get accidentally pregnant and chose to give family life a shot. The 10 Year Cycle of Partying can waste your life, if you let it. Its fun for a while, but dangerous, my darlings. Also, it will eventually destroy your liver. Have fun. Party for sure. But heed your old fat lazy spoiled pernicious mother. Decide to do something, anything, smart or daring or inspiring with your twenties.

The trap looks like this. Beware: