I took the kids out last night to a local bar to hear other kid's rock bands perform on stage. I told H and R that it was exactly like hanging out in a bar listening to local bands perform---if your mother wasn't there and the girl with butterfly wings dancing in front of the stage was about 20 years older. We were in a bar where I used to hang out when I was 22, exactly below the blues club where I used to tend bar. I was kind of shocked by how much the whole event of hanging out with children in a bar was exactly like hanging out in any bar in my 20s. Hum, on second thought, maybe that's not such a surprise?

The point is, I was present for my kid's first bar stamps. The bouncer stamped me, then my kids, each of us marked very clearly according to our age. I should have grabbed a picture for the blog. And just like way back in the olden days when I used to spend a lot of time in bars, this morning I have a faded stamp on the back of my hand. Even though I washed my hands when I got home last night.

R and I have spent a fair amount of time in the last 2 years evaluating the products we put on our skin. We use the Skin Deep Cosmetics Database to learn about the products we use. Skin Deep scientists rank products according to the toxicity of each of their ingredients and then assign a total score with a number 0 through 10. 0 is non toxic, 10 is most toxic. If I had to guess, based on all we've learned in the last 2 years, I would say most health and beauty products in all stores (including my beloved health food stores) score between 6 and 8. R and I decided we would aim for products with a score of 3 or less.

We don't want to be absurd or over zealous. We understand our eye makeup for New Year's Eve isn't really going to make a huge difference in our health or the health of the planet. But the layers of goo we slather over ourselves everyday probably does matter. Think about all the layers of fragrance, lotion, paste, soaps, shampoos, conditioners, deodorants, powders, make up, cream, sunscreen, and so on. None of the ingredients of these potions have been cross tested for reactions with each other, nor for long term nor mixed use. No one knows if these chemicals are truly safe, some 80 THOUSAND of them, commonly used daily in our society. In truth, most are known endocrine disruptors or carcinogens. Its a big issue. But, like I said, we strive for a sane balanced reasonable response. We only want to be safe, not ridiculous or obsessive.

Though, given the scope of the problem of chemical exposure, sane balanced reasonable response does require some focused thought and determination. Its difficult to find products rated 3 or less. (How sad is that?) We've been very surprised by the frightening scores of some of my previously most trusted and favorite products. R and I both have very dry skin. So we take moisturizing seriously. We are talking about needs over wants for our daily products. And I think it must be especially tough to deflect the relentless product advertizing aimed at my daughter, some 80 thousand chemicals deep, telling her she needs this stuff to be considered as a desirable mate. Also, makeup is fun. Its a little sad, how that's been ruined by corporate greed. And ironic, as the health and safety of the womb was sold out to profit. Hey girls, we don't care if your actual wombs are swimming in toxicity, we just want you to buy our products! Guarding against the relentlessness of an evil tide necessarily becomes a bit of a habit.

Which is why R and I shared a good laugh about our hand stamps on the way home, last night. She said that when the bouncer grabbed her hand and used a huge fat Sharpie to make a very big black X on her skin, she recoiled inwardly. She wanted to shout, "Hey, that marker is not rated for use on skin!" She could have asked, "Is that BAQ?!" (Body Art Quality, an important distinction for henna artists.) Or, "Is that marker rated 3 or less by the Environmental Working Group?!" Yeah, we laughed. But looking at the ink that's been soaked into my skin all night part of me does have to wonder exactly how funny it is.

                                                                                                      image credit stolen randomly from the internet--sorry dude, who ever you are, nice pic, though.