Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Dear Children,

When I was a child I believed in God. In fact, when I was six I woke one morning with a memory of what I had been before I was born. I had been a piece of wind and it was a wonderful experience. I'm happy to share that memory with you anytime. My thought that morning, and still today, is that what I had--my windiness--was no dream. It was a memory. I understand this sounds pretty nutty--my mother thinks she was a piece of wind. But there it is. As I grew up, I began to doubt the existence of God. It seems like most intelligent people doubt. No one in my family believed. Except my Grandparents. And they were Grandparents. By which I mean, old, odd, and seemingly inconsequential. Furthermore, a lot of what the church does and says has always struck me as false. And that sense of falseness is still true for me, right up to this very moment.

As a teenager I noticed that intelligent people are often open minded. In my twenties I went on a small private and rather lazy quest for open mindedness. Which led to me to study, among other things such as midwifery, meditation. Few studies have been as important or helpful to me. I urge to you consider the benefit of training your mind somehow. Through rigorous academia, through dedicated meditation practice, or through a strict artistic pursuit. What ever you choose, choose at least one. Improve your mind. You'll never regret it. Of all of those, meditation is the easiest and most practically helpful, in my opinion.

A lot of intelligent open minded people often begin, over time, to notice that more seems to be happening in life than what is patently obvious and concrete. Something mystic seems to be at work here. I believe it is a force of Love we call God.

Once I accepted the idea that there is a loving force at work in the universe we can call God, I began to see that the construct of church is a well intended system people use to strengthen their spiritual open mindedness for the betterment of everyone. Humans are flawed and bungling. We get stuff wrong in a chronic way. Creating a system for trying to do a better job of getting something--anything--right is okay by me. Even though we can anticipate that system will be as flawed and bungling as humans generally are.

George Fox taught that all people have direct access to God. Which is why Quakers meet in silence. Of the few churches I've encountered, The Society of Friends, makes the most sense to me. My understanding of George Fox, God, Love, Quakers, and church is grossly limited and flawed. But my faith in God is not. My need to improve is considerable. And my decision to sit with Quakers is, personally, a relief.

Plenty of intelligent open minded people do not agree anything mystic is happening in life. And that is okay too. You kids are not required to agree with me or your father on matters spiritual or intellectual. You are only required to be honest and considerate and true to yourselves.

I love you both,

Mom

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