Our daughter has recently, and off and on, requested more schooling. But I don't think she knows what it is she wants. She does not want to enroll in school. She thinks she wants more teaching from me. But then not with standard curriculum and not with work books. She wants classes but none that don't interest her specifically. (She's already enrolled in every class she wants.) She wants tradition but not math and never rote. I think she wants her life to sound as dynamic when she describes it, as that of her friends. Of course, her life is as dynamic. Each one of these kids are dynamic and unique. Their lives reflect this. But she has no perspective on herself, what she's learning, how to think about herself in comparison.
She reads and blogs, researches and crafts. I explained to a group of school-homeschooling mothers, I never correct her blog. I never mention spelling or grammar. I never suggest or refine content. All I do is observe and offer positive reinforcement. The school-homeschool mothers were stumped. They asked why I don't correct her. I replied that I'm waiting for her to grow up. Every mistake she makes now will be self corrected as she grows. Fully, 99% of them, in any case.
After all, I never taught her to write. She's had zero writing instruction. None on letter formation, grammar, punctuation, spelling, voice, tone, content, keyboarding---nothing. She writes a lot. She enjoys writing. She writes freely, for fun. Imagine, and all without any sentence diagramming! To her way of thinking, none of this counts as school.
My son briefly thought he wanted to go to high school and that's fine with us. He is allowed. But he changed his mind. Somehow, though he's gone back and forth, I doubt he'll go.
So I've been wondering what I want for the children, what else I feel they should be exposed to before they leave home. I used to think it was some huge project. I see now, I was grasping for a way to talk about their education so that it sounded as dynamic (or just a little bit more dynamic) as any other high school kid. How to think and talk about my children in comparison?
But I've revised my list dramatically. Its down now, simply to math. In the 20 minute car ride to class this morning, I explained to the children I would like them to study math before they leave home. I went off on a full blown commercial for the power and majesty--the Magic--of math. I explained that we didn't invent math, we discover it. Math is a language that defines our physical world, which is pretty cool. I stressed its an art and a tool. I got wound up and went off. No one can deny, its a solid sensible and minimal sort of demand to make. Even the kids can see that. But I was trying to convey some enthusiasm, I spoke of physics and stars and geometry.
They listened respectfully. Then my daughter started laughing and proceeded to spend a few minutes reciting a long passage from "The Bromeliad Trilogy" by Terry Pratchett, about a frog discovering the math of daisies. And there it all was, is, an interdiscipliscious unschooling moment of glory. Quite naturally and spontaneously, unbidden and untested, she demonstrated mastery of our discussion and her reading. Using oral recitation, literary reference, and metaphor, displaying deep comprehension, she enlivened our conversation. From memory, unplanned, as if that's simply who she is now (enlivened, literary, and deep) rather than something she's been schooled to do on a test.
In fact, before I spoke of math requirements in the car, she was laughing. She explained to me and her brother that sometimes when she's talking, as she's saying a word her brain will try to stop her because she does not know how to spell it. And she wonders if she ought to choose a word she knows how to spell. And then she laughs at herself and uses the word anyway. Did we ever do that, she wondered? Self regulation, the hallmark of unschooling.
What more do I want for my children? I want them to dance joyously, even my son. And I don't mean that in a bumper-sticker kind of way. I mean it literally. I want to raise children who enjoy dancing at parties. And recently they've started doing just that. I've planned a party for next month to further our study.
My son has attended a few births, now. He has experienced the tang of emergency and kept a cool level thinking demeanor. Who cares if he's absurdly well read--way more so than me. He dances. He understands the dynamic and drama of birth, knows love is integral to the process. Again, not in a midwifery pamphlet sort of way, but because he's been there and felt the energy.
Honestly, after buying some math workbooks, my teaching job here is about done. I don't care what else these kids do as long as they remember to say: Yes Ma'am, No Sir, Please, and Thank You. Should I crawl all over an 11 year old's blog post correcting "wich"? No Ma'am. I think I'd better put our collective unschooling energy into a lesson we apparently need: learning to stop comparing ourselves against one another. Of course, comparing is most of what they actually do in school. Its an ingrained lesson I'd rather forget.
