Grandpa Tom breezed through town for an oh-so-short visit this weekend. He looks absolutely fantastic! We so wished he could have stayed for a longer more relaxed visit. It was great to see him.

When people who love the kids, but are distant, show up for a visit there is always the moment when The Question is asked: So, what are you doing these days? I don't think the kids feel this as anything other than a normal query. And I probably project tons of feelings over the moment unnecessarily. But let's be honest. What are they doing? People want to know. Because children, especially teenagers, should be really really busy learning tons of fascinating things, right? And all these fascinating things should be easy to classify, quantify, and present. Right? I mean, school does that and we all think of it as a normal way for children to live, with their list of projected and current achievements in hand.

Imagine if adults lived under the same expectation. That's kind of funny. And what are YOU doing these days, hum? Schlepping the paycheck, as always. Washing the laundry. Zoning out in front of a screen for endless days. Consuming more than you create? What we all do.

What are the kids doing? When they answer, and they always give the very most demure answers possible, I am usually cringing inside. The most common answer is probably, "Oh, nothing." Yeah, that's exactly what the evil-grand-step-fairy is waiting to hear: The kids are doing nothing.

You get a fuller picture hanging out with them. On the way to another teen social club meeting (they are endless), I learned that R heard Beethoven for the first time last week. She was on the top bunk in her brother's room with her head hanging over the side, backwards. (Because that's how all students learn, right?) Her brother, apparently, has Beethoven in his music queue. Which was news to me, in the first place. He played it for her. And tears rose in her eyes and as she denied actual crying, she said, "But its about a Lone Wolf, a sad lonely wolf, all alone..." And they laughed.

And I thought, Wow. Huh. This is what they do all day. Explore, experience, process, associate, enjoy. Dare I say it? Learn. How do you grade that? You don't. How do you quantify that for a college application: Classical Music Appreciation 101. How do you show Grandpa Tom? Really, you don't. You just hope the kids are loved and appreciated for who they are, rather than for their list of current and future achievements. Just like all the rest of us human beings. (Grandpa Tom loves them a lot.)

Unschooling offers a rich life that fosters connectivity, complexity, and depth. Grades, not so much. Easily identifiable reportable classifiable official lessons? Not so much. At least, not in the way we've all been taught to think about growing intelligent children, and what's most important.